I'm going to talk about sex. Directly. Because most people won't, and that silence is costing you. Here is what I know after coaching women through dating and relationships for two decades: desire doesn't die after 50. It changes. It gets more specific. It gets more honest, if…
I have coached daters for over 20 years, and one theme keeps getting louder every year. Younger men (and of course older men) are actively seeking out older women, and it is a real, growing part of the dating world. If you are a woman over 50 wondering whether you still have…
If you're over 50 and standing at the edge of dating again, first dates feel enormous. More than they did at 30. More than they probably should. That's because at this age, you know things. You know what a bad relationship costs. You know how fast years go. You know you're not…
You matched on a dating app, or maybe a friend set you up, and the first date felt promising enough to keep going. For a minute, you let yourself hope this could be it. Then a few weeks in, something feels off. You can't quite name it, but the excitement fades faster than it…
The dating game after 50 comes with a lot of unwritten rules. The biggest one? The third date is when sex is supposed to happen. Maybe you followed that rule. Maybe you walked away from a promising new relationship wondering why romantic relationships that felt so real suddenly…
If you've spent more than ten minutes on online dating apps, you may have asked yourself: "Are there any emotionally healthy people on here at all?" Fair question. Because sometimes dating apps can feel like a strange social experiment where 1 person wants a soulmate, another…
The number one concern I hear from many daters is: there are not enough eligible people where I live. My heart goes out to you. It's enough to make you give up altogether. On the other hand, I meet happy couples every day who started (or even remained) in a long-distance…
Most of us don't miss the red flags. We see them. We just talk ourselves out of what we saw. I've been helping women in the dating pool for over 20 years, and I will tell you with total certainty: the problem is rarely that you're oblivious. The problem is that you're hopeful.…
You know the feeling. You've spent hours on your profile. You answered the prompts, picked a few photos, filled in the basics, and hit "publish." Then... crickets. Or worse, messages from men who seem like they wandered in from a different planet. Here's what I want you to know:…
Here's a story I've heard a hundred times. A woman finally gets out of an unhappy marriage. She promises herself: this time, things will be different. She gets back in the dating game, meets someone new, and then, slowly, a familiar feeling creeps in. Same fights. Same dynamic.…
Let me be honest with you about online dating. Most women over 50 approach it like a chore they've been assigned, at best. They download an app, spend ten minutes on a profile, upload a photo from three years ago, and wait to see what happens. Then they come to me completely…
I've helped hundreds of women through this exact moment: standing at the edge of the dating pool, wondering whether the water is too cold, whether anyone will even be there, whether you are somehow too late.
In my family, there is a famous story about my grandmother Sylvia, who came to the US from Poland in the 1930s. Sylvia was notoriously skeptical, untrusting, and frugal. She could spend hours in a store examining potential purchases and still leave with nothing. No decision came…
If you've been in the dating pool for any amount of time, especially in your later years, you already know this: People lie. Not always in big, dramatic, scammy ways. Not always with bad intentions. But in small, strategic, sometimes unconscious ways that can derail your chance…
Dating over 50 can feel like stepping into a whole new world. And not the cute "new adventure" kind of way. More like: Wait, what is this? Why does everything feel harder?
If you are a smart, self-aware woman who has done the inner work and still ended up in a romantic relationship that looks exactly like the last one, hear this: you are not broken. You are unconsciously running a pattern. And patterns can be changed. Dating over 50 brings a…
As a dating coach, I hear it constantly. "Men just want someone younger." "Older men just want sex." "The older guys on dating sites just want a caretaker." I get why women believe this. The dating world can feel brutal, especially after a long marriage or years on your own. But…
If you've been staring at your divorce papers, wondering whether your window for love has closed, I have someone I want you to meet. I recently sat down with Lauren Handel Zander. She's the creator of the Handel Method, my former boss, my mentor, and the woman whose framework…
One of the biggest mistakes women make when they first get back into dating, especially after a divorce or a long dry spell, is having sex on the 1st date, the 2nd date, or following the famous "third date rule" on the long-awaited 3rd date. I’m not judging you. I understand it.
I hear this every week. “Laurie, where are the good men?” "I can't seem to find any." "I don't think there are any good ones left." "All the good ones are taken." "I've been on the dating apps, and there are none there. Where are they?"
I am going to say the thing most women over 50 are thinking but not saying out loud: I am not sure I can have a great sex life anymore. Maybe you have quietly decided that the chapter is closed. Maybe the physical changes, the low libido, the vaginal dryness, the hot flashes,…
I had a small breakdown recently. Not a dramatic one. Don't worry. But I was struggling. A client sent me his dating app profile, and the second I read it, I knew. ChatGPT wrote it. Not him. And something in me cracked.
What men say—over and over—is that women tend to speak in signals instead of just asking directly for what they want. And here’s the uncomfortable truth: most women aren’t doing that on purpose. They’re doing it because they don’t actually know what they want yet.
Romantic rejection is part of life. It always has been. But that doesn’t mean rejection hurts less just because you’re older or wiser. What changes after 50 is the emotional reaction it can trigger and the meaning we sometimes attach to it.
First of all, there is no ONE “the one.” Second of all, this notion that your "one" got away, whether because: He picked someone else You picked someone else He had an insurmountable issue He died As a relationship coach, I can tell you: It just isn’t true.
One of the biggest reasons women grow tired of online dating is simple: it can feel like a waste of time. Based on years of work as a dating coach, I can tell you this: only a portion of the people on dating apps are genuinely ready for a committed relationship or a long-term…
If you’re dating again after 50, the first thing to remember is this: chemistry is not the only thing that matters. You can have a good time, enjoy the small talk, even feel sparks on a first date, and still end up with a partner who is all wrong for the kind of life you…
If you’re over 50 and spending any time in today’s dating scene—or even just warming up to the idea of dating again—I want to talk about something most people would rather avoid. I want to talk about what doesn’t work.
If you’re back in the dating world after 50, you already know what’s changed. There are more options, more confusion, more false starts, and more ways to lose time with someone who was never really right for you. What I want for you instead is clarity. Not eventually. Not after…
If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t even know what I want anymore,” you’re not alone. That moment usually comes after a lot of heartbreaks, compromises, and the quiet realization that your love life didn’t turn out the way you once imagined.
If dating feels like the same movie playing over and over—same type of person, same disappointment, same ending—you’re not imagining it. And no, this is not because you’re “bad at dating.” It’s not because the dating pool dried up. It’s not because you waited too long. What’s…
If you keep dating the same types of men… It’s not because you’re “bad at dating.” Even if you're in midlife or beyond, you haven't "missed your window." And as I say in my podcast "Love at Any Age", love has no expiration date.
If you’re thinking about dating again after a long time — or maybe you’re wondering whether you even want to try — I want to start by saying this: there is no expiration date on love. You are not too late.
If finding love (or getting back out there) is going to make your New Year’s resolution list, this is your perfect moment. The holiday season will soon be over, and everyone’s in that new beginnings mindset. Are you ready?
If you’re over 50 and thinking about dating again—whether it’s been a few months, or a few decades, or since your last heartbreak—it’s time to get intentional. No more winging it, hoping for chemistry, or letting the dating apps decide your fate. You get to do this your way:…
If you’re dating over 50 and wondering why it feels harder than ever to find your person, you’re not imagining it. The dating landscape has changed — and so have we. You’ve lived, loved, raised kids, maybe divorced, maybe lost a partner. You’ve learned a lot about yourself. But…
At the beginning of 2025, I promised myself I'd start my own podcast. I had rejected the idea of it in the past because it seemed like too much work, but THIS felt like the year!
In this season of thanks-giving, I am going to lay out an unpopular opinion: Every choice in love you’ve made in the past has been in your best interest! "What, Laurie?" You must be asking yourself if I’ve gone off the deep end.
In response to a recent article about reasons not to date common in women over 50, I received this comment: “All valid points. What is holding me back is my weight (overweight now) and having been celibate for over 10 years, the thought of intimacy. My body has cellulite, rolls…
If you’ve dipped your toe into the modern world of dating apps, you’ve probably noticed they all have one thing in common — you have to work them if you want them to work for you.
Two of my three kids are grown, so I think I can safely say now that I wish they had taken a gap year between high school and college, or during college. At least they studied abroad. The amount of worldly knowledge and independence they gained from studying abroad got me…
For every woman in the 50+ age group who responds to one of my articles, hopeful about dating again, an equal number write back with a heavy sigh: “Never again. I’m done.”
I don’t mean get back together with the man you divorced. I certainly don’t mean stay with someone who abuses you. I mean, in early dating—even in texting. I mean, when something rubs you the wrong way and you’re ready to call it quits before chemistry has had a chance to…
I get this a lot as a dating coach: Women send me their online dating profile to analyze—as if I could tell them whether it’s “good” or “bad” without knowing them first. That’s not how it works.
Once women are done complaining to me about how older men are only looking for younger women, they turn around and complain that they’ll end up being an older man’s nurse, purse, or, dreadfully, both!
If you’re a woman in later years looking for a mature man around your own age, there are some things you should expect. This list isn't meant to scare you—it’s to help you experience the dating scene with greater ease. First off, they might help you feel less crazy, because if…
You might be hesitant to jump back into the dating scene because you’ve heard stories from your girlfriends about some truly cringe-worthy moments. But here’s the good news: with a little preparation from your trusted dating coach, you can walk into any date feeling confident,…
Once upon a time, I used to coach people in weekend workshops. About 15 people would sit in a circle in my living room and talk about their secrets and lies. The premise of the retreat was: “the truth will set you free.” I did a whole TedX talk about it.
If you met online, your first date should not be a glass of wine at a noisy bar. It should be a video call. Full stop. I know, I know. It’s not the fantasy. But we’re grown-ups now. With real-time energy levels, complicated schedules, and no time (or patience) for last-minute…
You finally open up the dating app, and there it is—the blank box next to "What makes you unique?" You freeze. Is this the best place to share your love of New York bagels? Is it too soon to mention your three divorces and obsession with Candy Crush?
Let’s brush our teeth before we kiss, he said on our first date, implying I had bad breath! I was mortified. But I brushed my teeth, and we had a great first kiss. That was decades ago, and now we’ve been married 27 years. When asked how I knew he was the right person, I harken…
When you first spot someone on a dating app and your interest is piqued, the next big step is kicking off some fun, flirty banter. Since they can’t read your body language, your online banter has to carry all the weight of making that initial spark happen.
Have you ever found yourself at the end of an exhausting fight shocked that, after investing in someone feeling loved, they felt, well, just the opposite?
If you’ve ever secretly Googled “Am I undateable?”—first of all, hi, welcome, you’re in good company. Second, the fact that you’re asking that question probably means you’re not. Truly. Single women who are reflective, curious, and willing to assess their love life honestly are…
Are you tired of struggling to get your dates/your partner to open up and share their thoughts and feelings? Does it sometimes feel like you're interrogating them instead of having a real conversation? Or do they accuse you of that? 😇
As a relationship expert, my mission is to help you stop wasting time on dead-end dates and find someone who’s a good match for you for long-term love. By "good match," I mean you are "in sync" on all 3H's: your head, your heart, and your hoo-ha.
Do you wish you could get excited about dating but find yourself battling pesky anxiety butterflies in your stomach? These 4 things have helped my clients immensely with dating anxiety.
When you think about dating, one of your major concerns might be about sex. In fact, sex is what differentiates a long-term love partner from just another friend. As a dating coach, I want to give you the best chance at healthy, lasting love, and that means giving you the…
If you’ve ever slumped onto your couch after a dating app session feeling drained, disheartened, or downright numb, you’re not alone. Dating app fatigue is real, especially for women over 50 looking for a meaningful relationship.
Dating apps and dating sites can open up a world of possibilities, even after 50—but only if you know how to use them wisely. As a dating coach, I see the same worst dating profile mistakes over and over again, especially from attractive women who should be having a good time…
So, you aren’t attracted at first, but you’re lonely, and you are looking for the love of your life! And maybe you haven't made such good choices in the past when you picked based on what you were attracted to, so….
Dating after divorce can feel like stepping into a strange new world—especially if you’ve been out of the dating game for a long time. You might feel like the dating pool has changed, the rules are unclear, and your comfort zone is nowhere to be found. But here's good news: not…
One of the main complaints I hear from daters is about BEING GHOSTED. Ghosting is a pretty new term. I know because my 80-year old dad said “huh, what’s that?” He stopped dating before computers, texting and online dating sites. You could still ghost someone in those days– but…
If you're a mature woman trying to make sense of modern dating, you’ve probably asked yourself: What do men actually want? Are they after “just sex,” younger women (only), a casual fling, a committed relationship, or none of the above? Do older women actually know what men…
My name is Laurie, and I have been a dating coach for women for the last 20 years. If you are finding love after 50, you must begin with believing it’s possible!
If you’re an older woman trying to find a romantic relationship in the real world, you’re not alone. I’ve worked with thousands of single women over 50, and I hear this all the time: “I’m tired of online dating apps. I want to meet a great guy in real life.” The kids call it…
Ever wondered what it’s really like behind the scenes of a professional matchmaking service? I recently sat down with Jill Dunn, a seasoned matchmaker with years of experience helping single men and women find long-term relationships.
The dating world has evolved. We’re swiping, chatting through mobile apps, and scanning dating profiles like pros. It can feel overwhelming at times—but here’s the good news: there are plenty of quality dating services out there filled with potential matches looking for…
I have been coaching people for 20 years on how to date effectively, based on Handel Group™’s awesome methodology. I've taught countless clients how to maximize the utility, intimacy, and fun of the first 3 dates, with great questions…
There are dating services offering "meaningful connections," platforms for casual relationships, and apps boasting compatibility scores and in-depth personality tests. Some are free, others want your credit card before you even send a first message.
If you’re post-menopausal and dating (or thinking about dating), I want you to know: you are not alone, you are not too old, too dry, too rusty, and you are not done. So many women in their 50s, 60s, and beyond are re-entering the dating world and wondering with regards to sex……
My sense of priorities in relationships has changed over the course of coaching. I had to reexamine my values because what I was valuing when I came to coaching wasn’t giving me the relationship I really wanted…
First of all, warning: this blog is for women. If you're a man and reading this, you may get some value and some chuckles, but the rules and ideas are really different for men. Maybe I'll write that one next. Now, ladies, if your flirt game is rusty, good news: you don’t need…
As a relationship expert, I have been studying dating over 50 for the last 20 years, and I have made an important discovery. The good news is that the biggest mistakes women make in dating can be avoided.
One moment you're excited about a potential partner, and the next, you’re wondering if you just wasted a lot of time. Welcome to the dating game! What a ride.
The 3rd date is a significant milestone, it assumes you are really interested in each other and attracted– but you need to know some very important things in order to take it further.
A couple of weeks ago we discussed the most common 1st date mistakes, if you missed it, here’s the link. This week, I want to warn you about the 2nd date pitfalls!
First, let me just remind you, there will be no first date unless you have had a good time getting to know the person over text, phone call, or video chat, and feel that they meet your 3H criteria.
Good news, everyone is making the same mistakes and they are fixable. To save you boredom, frustration and heartache, don’t make these FIRST DATE mistakes:
The biggest mistake women make in midlife dating is staying for a long time with the wrong person. If you’re lonely, you are susceptible to picking badly, and then staying put, hoping it will turn into a successful relationship if you’re patient or work hard enough to fix him.
One of the biggest obstacles I see stopping women in midlife from finding a meaningful romantic relationship is a deeply rooted belief that they are somehow “not enough” to deserve it. That they're too old, too damaged, too late, too this or that.
Bad dates are the worst. We've all been on crappy dates and been wondering the whole time, when will this be over? I want to save you from ever going on a bad date again with some top tips for the first three, which are the most important!
Almost every day I hear about the overwhelm and exhaustion women feel when engaged in online dating. Have you ever just wished you knew all the tricks to make it easier?
So many of my clients come to me upset and frustrated, because for sure they thought a gentleman was "into them"--only to find out he wasn't serious at all. How soon can you tell if a man likes you, if you can tell at all? Here I will inform you about some key early dating signs…
You may think it seems shallow to care about being attractive. But it is the most important element that determines whether or not you will find a love match.
Did you know? You are teaching someone how to treat you from the very first interaction. If you are wondering why someone treats you a particular way, think back to the behaviors you ignored or didn’t speak up about at the beginning.
Are you so resigned about dating that you’re asking yourself if it’s even worth it? I get it. A lot of women who come to me are exhausted by past relationships, overwhelmed by careers, families, and the true time suck of swiping left and right on online dating sites.
The myth that older men only want to date younger women is understandably upsetting to older women. But, just because you’ve heard it a hundred times (or have seen it play out on social media and in bad rom-coms) doesn’t mean it’s a universal truth.
If you feel unsafe dating, that’s fair. The online dating world is filled with wonderful potential partners, but it also has its fair share of red flags. Scammers, fraudsters, and people with bad intentions do exist, but that doesn’t mean you should live in fear. Healthy…
If you have been working hard at dating or even just on yourself, to change your past patterns and you haven’t found success there may be a very important step you are overlooking.
A few days ago I found myself saying something for the 3rd time in a week to a 50+ woman who was trying to get back into dating. “It’s not about whether or not YOU are good enough.”
Remember when I talked about “the click”? It’s when you finally know you are ready to find your soulmate. You’ve stopped whining, resisting and fearing the process or the result.
What’s the click? It’s that moment when you go from being a victim of your past failures in love to being the author of a brave new chapter of love-hunting!
My first answer is, dating is an honest job and you DO need to be willing to put in the work. Finding your soulmate does take time and a good attitude, like any other important accomplishment.
It’s not marriage…but, deciding to get committed is a big step! You’re taking yourself off the market and that is a real risk. So, make sure you’ve done your homework!
If you are looking for New Year’s resolutions for your love life, take this quiz! Are you showing up the way you want to show up? If not, this quiz will give you some very good ideas for improvement.
No two people want the same thing from their holiday or vacation. Have you discussed what’s most important? If you haven’t, you can expect these 3 outcomes:
Are you in the market for a gift for yourself or a loved one who is looking for love? There could not be a better time than now to purchase a digital course as a gift.
I understand holidays can: …remind you of loss …remind you of loved ones who have passed …make you feel lonely …make you feel fat …make you feel vulnerable to comparison
Are you headed into another holiday season without a "special someone" by your side? Wouldn’t it be easier to handle your family’s craziness if you had a partner with you? At the very least it might get them focused on something other than your singleness!
A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that their partner needs to be the same as them–similar interests, similar finances, family situation and maybe even the SAME in some areas like: level of education, race, politics, religion…
Sometimes you unintentionally cast a scary spell on your date and send your potential mate running. Here are the tips to keep your first dates bewitching without the fright factor.
So you're out there on the dating scene, and let's be honest, rejection is just part of the game. But fear not y’all, here are the tips you need to handle rejection like a pro…
One of the top 3 things couples fight about is: division of labor in the household! Successful couples uncover invisible labor, and acknowledge and appreciate it--and might choose to change some of the assigned responsibilities.
Do you ever end up dating someone longer than you should? Do you watch your friends TRY to make it work only to entangle themselves with not-the-one for ages?
Everyone makes the same mistakes with their profiles! Yes, there is a right way to design your online dating profile to make your dating experience more fun and effective…
If you’ve been following me on Insta you know I am not just about you finding your person, but I’m all about you keeping the love alive, hot and healthy. Are you frustrated that your partner can’t provide certain things you want?
Are you frustrated by dating apps? Are you tired of endless texting but no real action? Are you confused and overwhelmed by what’s expected in dating these days?
It’s a mistake to think there is monogamy in a dating relationship if it hasn’t been specifically agreed upon. If you are in my Master the Art of Love program you know that there are stages of dating and specific things you need to address at each stage.
I was the worst! Meaning, I got a lot of feedback that I was a bad listener. So it’s from experience I can tell you, excuses are what keeps the bad behavior in place…
You should know this much if you've been following me for a while: Your partner has to be satisfying the needs of your HEAD, HEART AND HOO-HA in order for you to be/stay happy in love..
For every person I coach about dating I find a secret or two hiding in the closet! It’s something they think if others knew– it would mean no chance for them…
When I first tried to stop my bad habit of interrupting, it was VERY hard! I knew it didn’t help my relationship and was considered socially wrong, but I didn’t find I had the willpower to stop…
I’ll be frank, the patriarchy is really getting on my nerves. There are other battle cries I could sound right now, but given Labor Day tomorrow, this is the one that’s bothering me…
Do people get defensive when you give them negative feedback? Here are 4 tips on how to position negative feedback so the person listening can really hear it!
In this podcast, you’ll get the details about putting the “fun” in marriage fundamentals, using sex dates (ooh la la) as an example, and the magic of lube and candles, and finally, an explanation of why if I were a fictional character, I'd be a fairy godmother.
Vacations are something many of us eagerly look forward to, but they can bring a great deal of stress and disappointment. This summer I want you to nerd out in your planning, like I do, to ensure you get what you want and everyone else is happy too!
I am writing to people with fathers or without fathers. Imagine the father you wish you’d had. What’s he like? What traits does he have? How does he talk to you, think about you, behold you?…
Quick, without thinking hard, name the top three fights you always have with your partner. My husband and I fight about money. I am more nervous and controlling, he is more trusting and generous. We fight when we’re hosting guests. Again, he thinks everything will turn out fine.…
In a few years, we are going to look back at our relationship with phones, and consider it barbaric. We are in denial about this. We make excuses constantly. To be very blunt, essentially, the phone is evil and it does evil things to you. And you, like a lemming, comply.
Popcorning: Interrupting your partner (popping in) to get attention on whatever you want to discuss. Distinguishing feature: it could happen at any time! Couples have been complaining about “popcorning'' for years but it got WAY worse in the pandemic when we were all living on…
A lot of you picked for the wrong reasons. Maybe the person satisfied one, or two, but not all three, and you thought you couldn’t have it all. But maybe you still can–with a little bit of work!
It’s scary to rip off a bandaid. That's why you just have to commit and do it all at once. It stings for a few seconds, and then it’s over –the wound can breathe, and do its last steps of healing! Giving your partner feedback about something that is not working is a lot like…
Have you ever asked yourself if you have integrity when it comes to love? Most people don’t think of integrity the way the Handel Group lays it out. The Handel Method™ teaches that there are 3 levels or forms of integrity…
Sometimes your inability to get over someone reaches the level of an addiction, which means you feel like you have no control over what your head is busy thinking about. How do you know you’re addicted?
Not everyone can afford private coaching, but everyone deserves somebody to help them debunk their favorite excuses about why relationships don’t work. Allow me to debunk the most popular 15 excuses I hear, by category….
Everyone makes excuses about their relationship. I know I did. My first round had to do with being better than most, then I blamed my partner and then finally resorted to believing I had tried everything. There is nothing wrong with excuses except t
I’ve been trying to impress upon you how important it is to assess your purpose, and your values, when it comes to your relationship. If you haven’t already done the compare and discuss exercise with your mate, DO IT! It’s a great start to creating a jointly held dream.
Last week, I told you I’d explain how my sense of priorities in relationship changed over the course of coaching. I had to reexamine my values because what I was valuing when I came to coaching wasn’t giving me the relationship I really wanted…
The only reason I ever shaped up in my marriage is because I realized I was going to lose it. Turns out I needed to do way less, and listen way more. When I do, the results are profound…
I remember while complaining about my relationship, telling my coach “I've tried everything!” And by “everything” I meant, nagging, complaining, blaming and trying to “be nice.” My quiz will give you LOTS of new ideas for things to try that have been proven to help relationships…
On January 1st, 2021, I made a promise to myself, and on Wednesday, December 15th, 2021, I kept that promise–for the first time in my life. I’m going to tell you all about it, as a way to talk about making your year end powerfully and meaningfully…
No two people conceive of vacations the same way. No two people want the same thing from their holiday. Have you discussed what’s most important to your partner, in a calm moment? If you haven’t, you can expect these 3 outcomes…
This is NOT about your sexual technique, though we will be getting to that. This is about LOVE, as a verb. The word love is so loaded. It’s impossible to know what someone means when they say it, because it has been co-opted to mean so many things. Here is the most useful…
Last week I encouraged you to self-assess and cop to your REAL issues. Blaming your partner is just too easy! Nonetheless, it is exactly what I did, FOR YEARS! Yup, when my coach asked me why I was unhappy in my relationship then answer was simple: IT WAS ALL HIS FAULT. Here is…
It’s normal to ask yourself if the problems in your relationship are your fault. It’s also normal to blame them on your partner. The truth lies somewhere in between. I’ve been coaching clients for 17 years including thousands of people trying to make love work well and I’ve…